Disclaimer: There are no Egyptian sims in this chapter.

YOUNG MAN PUT SOME CLOTHES ON RIGHT THIS INSTANT

Pip: “Chill, I’m a ken doll anyway.”

STILL. CHILDREN COULD BE READING THIS.

Pip: “Oshiturite.”

Safely clothed and presentable again, he treats himself to some nonalcoholic juice, and immediately rolls a wish to learn mixology.

No. One, none of these bars are good enough to actually learn any skills from them, and two, we have a schedule to meet! No unnecessary skills!

Pip: *rolls a wish to learn street art skill*

You’re turning into a real problem child, you know that?

While he’s hanging out at the bar, he watches newlyweds Isadora and Clark Bard being disgustingly adorable together. They have an astonishing age difference between them, but are still deeply in love.

The sight spurs Pip into action with a pro-athlete’s natural competitiveness – if an old lady and a white rapper can find true love, then so can he!

Remembering the cute neighbor he spotted on his second day in town, he heads down the street to the Irwin household.

She’s still cute, but also more than a little out of it.

Emi: “Did you know the building nextdoor to you is a science facility for VaultTec? They’re a secret organization planning on using the nuclear apocalypse as a cover to run sadistic psychological experiments on survivors.”

Pip: “Uh, that’s…cool? It’s um, a little hot out here, could I maybe come inside?”

Emi: “Well, I need to make sure you’re not a VaultTec agent first. Do you know the super secret ultra special negasonic password?”

Pip does.

Within a few minutes of chatting with her, he learns that she’s a low-level criminal hoping to work her way up to the title Empress of Evil (“It’s a real thing!” she tells him cheerfully), and extremely Family-Oriented. Her daughter Cricket gives them the ennui-riddled side-eye of the adolescent.

Emi’s husband is Richard Irwin, a lowlife dirtbag, but she still gently but firmly rebuffs Pip’s cautious romantic overtures.

Pip knows for a fact that Richard is the father of Lola Lancaster’s unborn baby – she thinks she’s in love with him, and has been gabbing about her baby daddy nonstop to anyone who will listen. Emi has to know about her husband’s infidelity, but she doesn’t say anything.

It’s probably for the best, Pip thinks. After a day of hanging out with her, her cuteness seems more childlike than attractive – he still likes her, just as a friend.

Richard: “That’s weird. My ‘angry-betrayed spouse’ sense was tingling for a second there. Huh, must be imagining things!”

Ugh.

That night, Pip gets another promotion, this time to Minor Leaguer! He’s at the point in his career where he’s actually doing athlete stuff!

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The romance situation is looking a little dire. After his failed flirting with Emi, the only non-elderly single female sims left in town are Lina and Lola Lancaster, since Lina has moved out of her sugar-daddy Eli Vokoban’s house. I was holding out hope for military career woman Pansy Northrop, despite her not liking children, but…

She’s the redhead in the maternity wear. Yup. Walter Sparks knocked her up, and the two are now apparently happily married, much to her horror of Walter’s daughter Piper.

Piper: “She’s practically my age, dad!”

Hang on a second…

After a quick few minutes of frantically checking ages, it turns out Piper just aged up to young adult! Pip, get in there!

Pip: “Hi! I’m a young reasonably attractive professional who wants to go places in life!”

Piper: “What a coincidence! I also care a great deal about my career and socio-economic standing!”

Pip: “Yessssssss, potential legacy mate spotted.”

Don’t make it weird, bro. Check if she has literally anything else in common with you.

Pip: “More people need to focus on building upper body strength.”

Piper: “I completely agree! This is how we end up with babies lying on the ground in the middle of a public bar, not enough parents have the endurance to hold them for longer than half an hour.”

Piper: “I bet I could do ‘cep curls with two of him.”

Pip is smitten. Not only is Piper just as ambitious, fit, and hyper-competitive as him, she’s also just got a job at the stadium, and shares his dream of becoming a superstar athlete!

For my part, I love her – she’s a little awkward, but extremely cute, and plus – Pip and Piper! Pip! And! Piper!

A few romance interactions have some…misinterpretations…

Pip: “Baby, you are like a shooting star over my heart.”

Piper: “I’m a meteor burning up in the atmosphere and ultimately being nothing more than a brief excitement before my time is come and gone?”

Let’s try that again.

Pip: “I’d never make like a tree and leaf you.”

Piper: “Ohhh, that’s so romantic!”

…Whatever floats your boat, sweetheart.

In retrospect, maybe having this extra-special moment in the middle of a group of people and a crying baby wasn’t the best choice.

Still, Pip goes in for an amorous hug, and immediately rolls a wish to kiss Piper for the first time. What the hell, why not!

Boom! But we should probably make this official before Story Progression pairs her off with an elder or something, so-

Pip: “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but doyouwannagosteadyandsomedayhavemykids maybe?”

Piper: “Hey bro, why not! Our kids would definitely make mad gains.”

A couple of jocks in love! Gross.

 

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So, there you have it! I have to admit, Piper was not at all planned for, but I like how this worked out! They’re both bro-y as all hell, which should be fun.

However, I do need to work out what I’m going to do with Piper’s LTW once she joins the family. Duplicate LTWs don’t count for anything, so I want to change it, but I’m not sure if I want to put her in a different career. I like the idea of two super competitive pro-athletes raising a family together, but what do you guys think? Post in the comments if she should stay an athlete or switch to something else. She has the artistic skill and a few levels in cooking and painting, but nothing else to indicate what her path in life could be. (I might put her through the athletic career, then switch to culinary to get the super-awesome fridge, but the logistics of that are a little fuzzy.)

Thank you so much for reading! Like/leave a comment if you enjoyed!

-Mo ❤